What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
