i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
