mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
