I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
