but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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