My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize