hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Everclear isn't food dammit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
