I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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