I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
