remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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