Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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