I want to stick my p in your. b.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
