i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
