its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
