We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
