sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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