I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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