Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
