Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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