he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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