there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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