Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
