You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
