i just google imaged poop.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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