My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
