it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
