I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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