is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize