I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want her autograph on my taint
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize