My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
