At least make sure they are 18
Why
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
