ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
