I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Shame - the story of my life.
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