i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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