nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
