Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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