i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i've created a new STD.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
