I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
