Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
