The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
