He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
