just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize