just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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