maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
