there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
