either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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