he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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