yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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