ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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