Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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