I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize