if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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