I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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