my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize