I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I deserve this hangover.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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