K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
