He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
