Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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