Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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