Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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