Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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