I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Someone came in the potted fern
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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