I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
