Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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