Im at strip club and am horny
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
