A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
