Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
MIDGETS
????
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
