dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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